I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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