I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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