other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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