i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
