I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
