I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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