put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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