Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
