I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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