I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pants are for mortals
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