where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize