Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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