I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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