You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
