White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
