She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
