If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
