Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
