there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
