I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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