The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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