I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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