i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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