porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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