Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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