did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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