He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
