I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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