Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize