I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
