Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
