yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
