I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
