also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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