took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
