Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
