Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sorry about my life...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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