I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
