i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
