Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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