Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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