Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
