So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
