benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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