3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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