I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize