I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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