I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize