im six kinds of drunk right now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
