the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
