So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
