i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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