Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
